I just recently discovered Utada’s latest album, This Is The One. I absolutely love this album. I’m surprised at myself for finding out about it so late. @.@ Actually, my cousin told me about it in May, and I forgot about it until recently. Either way, I’m glad that Utada released another album in America. Here’s a snippet (via MixPod):

In other news, my life feels like its a mess. The good news is that I should have a full-time job by August and I will have successfully completed my first semester of online courses by September. The part that sucks is that the guy I’ve fallen for will never feel the same. (Ramblings Ahead)

I haven’t let myself get like this in years. Like I’ve said in past blogs, I’ve had my heart broken before, and because of that I’ve shut down on dating altogether. I can’t seem to find a medium between the two. I can’t seem to just date or find someone I like and not get too emotionally involved too early on.

I have strong feelings for my best friend. I’ve never blogged directly about me liking him before, so lets hope he doesn’t choose NOW to read my blog. D: I’m not sure how he feels about me. I do the “leave a hint, watch for reaction” thing sometimes, but it kinda seems pointless. It’s amazing how clueless he is about chicks who like him. -.- He’s always been like that. And I feel like unless I tell him directly he’ll never know.

We practically date already. That’s the sad part. If we were to make it official, what would change? What would be the difference then? …Now that I think about it, maybe it’s a good thing that nothing would change. Maybe that’s what he’s afraid of. He probably doesn’t want anything to change between us, and that’s understandable.

And he’s the type who hates showing his feelings. He thinks it makes him weak or something. (Is that a guy thing? o.O) Regardless, he’ll say that he loves me or say that I’m amazing one minute, then the next say he’ll talk about some new chick he met and how she’s so HOT or BEAUTIFUL or whatever… Mixed messages, much? X| I’m dying here! Yea, so if anyone has some advice, I’d love to hear it. My personal conclusion is that I should just stop “hanging out” with him and do my own thing. But what if he actually does feel the same? (End of Ramblings)